Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
