I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
