Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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