that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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