So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
