Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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