member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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