So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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