you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
