im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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