ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
