Grow some girl-balls and come out already
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
