look no pants
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
