Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
