I don't think brook has ever known best
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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