Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
