i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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