WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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