Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
