I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize