i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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