You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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