He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
