Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
