Kiss
Puke
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
are you so shy because you have an std?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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