well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
