Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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