Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
