ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
