your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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