He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
