Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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