when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
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I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
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I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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