I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize