guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
