Plan B is the new Plan A
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
