u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
