My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
