Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
