I wish I could punch you in the face.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I will be naked everywhere
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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