The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
