i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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