i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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