you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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