I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize