the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I want her autograph on my taint
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
