the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
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Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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