Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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