margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
