Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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