can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
