i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
