apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Are we still banned from the library?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How does it feel to date your dad?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
