Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
