I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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