dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.