I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger