i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.