Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
