it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
