Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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