i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Randomize
