the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
